So, yesterday was the 13th Anniversary of my grandfather's passing.
February just really sucks.
My grandpa was in the nursing home for a while before he passed. He had Alzheimer's and mobility issues, and my grandma couldn't safely move him around anymore. He had a hard time in there; a few times he tried to escape. Or he would call my grandma in tears because he was ready to come home. He didn't understand that he lived in the home.
It was hard seeing him that way. My grandpa was the man who taught me how to play poker and cribbage and how to gamble...although that was mostly done with toothpicks. He also was VERY good at mental math and would also give me a hard time because I was not.
I am still not. I have no doubt any time I count on my fingers or use a calculator, he groans in Heaven. LOL.
He also took us fishing, and while I enjoyed doing it with him, fishing was more my sister's thing than mine.
He liked to tell jokes. A favorite that I remember was "put your finger to your forehead and give me the abbreviation for mountain." In all seriousness, that is the reason I know the abbreviation for mountain.
He was a bartender earlier in this life, after serving in the military, and I was always amazed that he would get up at like 4/430am eat breakfast, have some coffee, and do a shot. Then go back to bed for a couple hours. He let us kids take sips of beer and wine and made us Shirley Temple's.
Pa (what I called him) passed away 4 months and 11 days before my wedding. It is so odd how things play out really. Originally, my grandma wasn't going to be able to come to my wedding because of my grandpa being in the home. (They lived in Northern Minnesota) so the plan for our honeymoon was going to be that we would travel up there. When Pa passed, suddenly, now, my grandma could come to the wedding. So, that was a blessing in the storm.
Clearly, Pa never met Kolby. However, there are times that I wonder if their spirits didn't meet before Kolby was Earth-side. There are just things that make that seem true. One of the biggest things is Kolby's taste in music. He like old music. Like the stuff Pa used to listen to, and even older.
I still miss Pa everyday, and there are days it hits me harder. Obviously, the loss is not as fresh as with Dee-Dee's but I don't think it will ever be gone. And that is ok, because I don't want to become so comfortable with the loss that I forget him. Just comfortable enough to not be overwhelmed by grief.
Seeing as this is the second blog about death and grief in a short time period I have no questions this time. Remember to be kind, smile lots, and dance often!!
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